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BANANAS THE MAGICAL FRUIT

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GO BANANAS!
After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again. (From an email from Melissa)

Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.

But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression

  • According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

    • PMS

  • Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

    • Anemia

  • High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

    • Blood Pressure

  • This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

    • Brain Power

  • 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

    • Constipation

  • High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

    • Hangovers

  • One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

    • Heartburn

  • Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

    • Morning Sickness

  • Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

    • Mosquito Bites

  • Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

    • Nerves

  • Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

    • Overweight?

  • Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

    • Ulcers

  • The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

    • Temperature Control

  • Many other cultures see bananas as a “cooling” fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

    • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

  • Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

    • Smoking & Tobacco Use

  • Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

    • Stress

  • Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

    • Strokes

  • According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

    • Warts

  • Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

    • So go eat some bananas!

    STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE

    rod

    A little something Jason was showing us which was actually pretty interesting…


    For example, white people find it particularly hilarious to take slang and enunciate every word perfectly.

    “Homey, that bernaise sauce you made is wack. Do you know what I am saying? For Real.”

    “Well, I used a different type of butter. I switched the style up, so let the haters hate and I’ll watch the deliciousness pile up.”

    Since the above exchange involves people who are very aware of their whiteness it is hilarious, but if it were to be said by wiggers, it would be tragic. The difference is subtle but essential.

    This is also an excellent way to make white people like you. If you can recite rap lyrics with perfect enunciation, they will always find it funny. As a rule of thumb, the more popular the rapper, the funnier it gets. Best options: 50 Cent, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, or Jay Z. Note: avoid Kanye West as the irony of reciting his lyrics with perfect English is not as great.

    In terms of physical actions, there are few things white people enjoy more than throwing up fake gang signs in photos. Again, the same rules apply: if it is done by wiggers it is tragic, if it’s done by the right kind of white people, it’s hilarious. It’s not a good idea to mention how these signs have often resulted in awful, senseless deaths– that will ruin the joke.

    In both cases, the actions are done in hopes that a white person will be recognized as “one of the good ones,” who love hip hop, but don’t try to appropriate it in any non-hilarious ways.

    CLICK to see the rest!